A Personal Journey

As I sit here I am enjoying the sunshine peeking through the curtains like a smile upon my shoulders. Makes me think of the John Denver song , "Sunshine on My Shoulders." This quietness is a part of what I require to become refreshed and recharged for whatever a day may hold. I have been thinking of the different personalities that God has made and sometimes I feel being the introvert that I am is misunderstood perhaps for shyness. I have gone through shy times in my life but I no longer consider myself as a shy person. Part of the knowledge comes from learning to accept who I am. To me being alone is not lonely and staying at home is not always boring. It has nothing to do with being anti social. Although I enjoy being around others when I am in a big crowd I need to be able to walk away for awhile if possible because I get to feeling drained. I have read that introverts recharge by time alone and quiet places and extroverts get their energy in places where there are plenty of people or activity. I'm not good at large group conversations because I feel like I am interupting. Sometimes I think people are afraid to ask my opinion because they think I am shy but I am not afraid to speak , I just don't know the perfect time to jump in. I do better one on one or a very small group and surprisingly to some I can stand up in front of a captive audience and do just fine. I actually find that easier than talking in a group. I've done devotions in front of groups at nursing homes and led services (about 9 years) but it fizzled out through time and circumstances. I have however recently gone with a friend once a month and we sang hymns and played games with the residents. I once volunteered at the hospital for about a year reading to patients . One lady I visited was in a semi coma for 17 years. I was told to go in and just talk to her about the weather or things that are happening in town or I could read to her devotionals or the Bible. I did both. One day I went up to visit her and she was not there. I took it hard. Somehow through God's Spirit there was a connection. Where am I now? I think in a place of restoration and I feel God leading me back to a simple faith the kind that has the trust of a child yet the wisdom of the years , things I have learned by living , some through mistakes. I'm back to journaling and I not only find it a part of therapy for my emotions but often an encouragement to see the strength unfold that is already inside my heart and soul. I just need to be reminded. I no longer will feel guilty for the way I grieve because I have found that in holding things in and not allowing myself this time or process actually hinders the healing . I will also be positive and believe that God is with me and in me and I can fully trust Him with all my heart just like the verses my Mother shared on my timeline recently. " Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6 There is a season of change in my life and some of it is very difficult . I do not fully understand God's leading but I know that it is for good. There is something so positive about a journey of faith in Christ. He will always be there, He will never say "This is where we part ways" for there is no end to this journey only and always new beginnings. If the road gets bumpy and the challenges are great still there is assurance that there is something beautiful in store and something glorious. People may not always understand the when and where God leads me but what is important is that I am assured before Him. He is the Shepherd of my soul and everything is going to work together for good.