I had the TV on last week and Joyce Meyers happened to come on. She is all about positive and having a cheerful attitude which I have to admit I try but I have a question for who ever may read this. Have any of you actually answered one of the most popular questions in the world as I know it at least, "How are you?" with I'm not doing so great or honestly admitted you are going through some sad times or hard times? Isn't there a way to just be honest without coming across like a cloud of gloom? Just thinking, that is all. When I attend church or someplace where there are a lot of people asking the "How are you?" question I feel the need to respond with as much cheerfulness as possible but sometimes when I am not feeling cheerful a simple OK. On the Joyce show I heard her say that if someone responds with an OK it means they are trying to let the other person know something is not quite right. My second question is if something is not quite right should we say , "Wonderful with a big smile?" I know some people who are "Wonderful" all the time or are they? LOL . I loved the way Lawrence Welk said , "Wonderful, wonderful!"
There's a lady at our church who lost her husband within a week's illness a year ago. Four months later she was diagnosed with lupus. She continued to respond with, "Fine, I'm doing fine." I took her aside and said 'With us, that's not necessary. When I ask "How are you?" I'll look you you straight in the eye and look for your honest answer.'
ReplyDeleteI get it - when her meds upset her system, when she's lonely - now, from her eyes and from her lips. It's a matter of setting expectations. I want to know when and how to pray for you.
A good thought, Cheryl. I usually answer with "I can't complain" or "I'm good, thanks, and you". My thought has always been that those quick exchanges aren't really about how you really are, but are rather a cordial hello kind of thing, between acquaintances. My good friends know what I'm dealing with and don't ask that question in that way. I like my blogging friends, too, because we can share those ups and downs, and we all understand.
ReplyDeleteI loved the Lawrence Welk show and do remember him saying "wonnerful, wonnerful"....
I love that you got to adopt Nanook. She will be such a good companion for you, especially on your long walks! She is totally beautiful, as are you!! Hugs.
"My thought has always been that those quick exchanges aren't really about how you really are, but are rather a cordial hello kind of thing, between acquaintances. " I believe you are right Terri :) How are you? LOL have a great day
ReplyDeleteI understand how you are feeling Cheryl. I am sure you are already do this, but for me spending time in prayer has made a world of difference. For awhile I moved away from prayer but Holy Spirit kept calling me back. As soon as I gave my sorrow and worry over to God and asked Him to let me find peace and joy again, I found inner peace and happiness. It was instant. I pray that God will do this for you.
ReplyDeleteThat is so great that you are adopting Nanook! She is such a beautiful dog. How far away did your son and his family move?
Our associate pastor spoke about exactly this same topic one Sunday last year. He wants to see and hear more honesty in our responses to one another in the church body, however, I have a hard time "being honest" about my feelings with folks I don't know very well, even if they are a brother or sister in Christ. I agree with Terri, it is more of a greeting response than anything in our culture and when I feel comfortable with another person who I know is genuinely interested in getting a real answer to that question I will open up more. Until then, I will stick with...I'm fine thank you. ;)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your new friend. I am partial to the husky/malamute breeds myself. I once had a female husky/shepherd mix. She was beautiful, and very protective of me, which could also prove to be a problem at times. Miss her though.
It depends on whom asks the question, "How are you?" I can get a feeling about whether it is a simple greeting . Most of the time there is not really time to really talk a lot in church greeting times so it's probably better to keep it light anyways. Prayer time is good for sharing at least a glimpse of the need so those who truly care can encourage and of course pray. We do have an altar time at church where people can come forward and pray for each other.
ReplyDeleteMost of us know Eeorye type people who walk around gloomy and sad and we probably have been at one time or more ;-) Some people you are almost afraid to ask how they are ..or you'll get more than you bargained for. I remember when my Dad was so very sick and people would ask him how he was . I guess he got tired of saying OK or fine. I remember asking him and him saying , "Not very good." That is when I wanted to hug him even more and just let him know I care but it was also good sometimes not to really change the subject but to inject some happier points into it as much as possible. I miss my Dad so much . He sure was strong even at his weakest if that makes sense :)
I like the little Eeorye video lol he's saying no one wants to be his friend but then names off all these wonderful friends lol
ReplyDeleteYou know it's a real friend when you can be honest and they don't expect you to always be well. Honestly I had a stomach bug yesterday an was so sick. People at work blew it off an I never complain an rarely am I'll. It just shows who cares and who doesn't. It shows that we are expected to do well and perform every day regardless. I'm well today and smiling but I remember yesterday and the people who don't really care.
ReplyDeleteGreat to have friends here who accept our ups an downs. Wonderful for you sn the dog!! Yay!! Hugs u