Discovering my Inspiration

   I'm on a quest of sorts as I mentioned in my last blog. There have been times that I have failed to express what is my joy and my inspiration in the process of what I think others would rather hear, see or expect me to be. I am quite sure that it is a good thing to be considerate but that shouldn't mean that we will always agree with others nor that we will even be liked by all. We can shine with confidence and grace so that even in those times we find ourselves in unpleasant circumstances we can be pleasing to God and win the respect of even those who differ in belief from us.
 I love Proverbs 3:3-4 
"Never let loyalty and kindness leave you!
Tie them around your neck as a reminder.
Write them deep within your heart.
Then you will find favor with both God and people,
and you will earn a good reputation."

Proverbs 3:3 -4 New Living Translation

   Much of what I am doing in my 50's I wish I would have done more when I was younger but this is the way life goes sometimes, learning is a long process! Perhaps it is God's way of preparing us for the hardest journey of them all the years that are referred to as "Golden" Though this time in life is probably as different for individuals as God created each of us so unique if we live for a long time (or what we perceive as very old age) most of us will go through some difficult times. This has been a hard year! I lost my Dad May 16 and he was someone I looked up to, my Daddy, my hero, one who lived his faith before me with love. Even in his final months I saw so much strength in him. I stopped calling his room if he was there by himself towards the end because he would often cough so hard because of the fluid build up in his body. I would find out when Mom or my sister or brother would be there so I could talk a little while and if he had a coughing spell he could hand the phone back. His voice was weak but his love for family was strong. He always asked about the kids and grandchildren and expressed his care and concern. I believe his prayers still covered me until the very end. I live so far away and I couldn't always be there but there was a definite closeness that I was blessed with. Today is a new time in life and what I have left is memories but those memories are living and they inspire me to care for the ones that God has placed in my life and to realise that every single day is a gift. I cry sometimes and I get depressed . I am not over grieving but I am not without joy and I am never without hope. I pray to God that the lessons I have learned in life including those which I learned through my own frailty and mistakes will spur me on to celebrate the woman that I am. In the 1970's it seemed everyone was trying to find themselves . As much as that phrase has been made fun of it is not all bad. The Bible tells us to stir up the gifts that are within us. Sometimes it is through a process that we discover just what inspires us the most and how that inspiration can shine and make a positive difference to those around us.
  I had my grandchildren here this weekend and one of the things I love is the way they joyfully express themselves. I do believe that there are areas that need to be disciplined yet with giving them room to grow and discover their gifts and what they can do that brings joy to them as well as blesses others. Sometimes in the process of becoming adults and having to go through disappointments and setbacks as well as the heart breaks of life we retreat into a safe mode. I have done that and perhaps it is healthy for awhile but to stay there we rob ourselves and others. God has so much purpose for each of us and we are all His precious jewels, sometimes we just need a lot of polishing!

   I'm trying to be open here and share my heart but it is a challenge. I find writing draws me out and things appear on the page that I am not sure I want everyone to know but so be it. If it flows there must be a purpose for it all. I'm going to try and continue this blog. It may not be everyday and the way things are going maybe  not even every week but I don't want to lose the inspiration because inspiration is life!
  Wishing you all an inspiring week!

My oldest grandaughter and grandson with me this weekend at the museum. We all played! One of the kids told me , "Grandma you are fun to play with!" I take that as a compliment and I told them about what their Great Grandma  said. Someone asked her what her secret is doing so well at her age. She just turned 99 in September. She answered, " Because I act like a kid!"  Thumbs up for my grandma!

                                          My daughter Michelle and her boyfriend and grandma
                                                                 July 2012

                                 Puppy Love (One Big Puppy!) My grandson and our dog this weekend

                            Adventures aboard the ship! Grandson Caleb.